So yes, I do have metastatic disease or cancer. Anyway you slice it, it sucks. I don't know what type yet - most likely lung or breast cancer. CT scan next week.
Got the big news today - post blood work for myeloma. I would rather have myeloma -- if I could choose a cancer. I guess? But cancer chose me. Bastard.
At the moment I am angry, sad, distraught, and numb.
Did I mention I am getting married soon? Like really soon? So I have also made my sweetheart of a man very sad. He deserves so much more. That is what hurts the most.
I am entitled to have a pity party today. Don't dare tell I shouldn't. I am entitled to not be strong for a day. I am strong every day of my life - but not this one.
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