Now What?

So yes, I do have metastatic disease or cancer. Anyway you slice it, it sucks. I don't know what type yet - most likely lung or breast cancer. CT scan next week.

Got the big news today - post blood work for myeloma. I would rather have myeloma -- if I could choose a cancer. I guess?  But cancer chose me. Bastard.

At the moment I am angry, sad, distraught, and numb. 

Did I mention I am getting married soon? Like really soon? So I have also made my sweetheart of a man very sad. He deserves so much more. That is what hurts the most. 

I am entitled to have a pity party today. Don't dare tell I shouldn't. I am entitled to not be strong for a day. I am strong every  day of my life - but not this one. 





 

Urgent

Sense of urgency. I have mostly lived my life with a sense of urgency. I was never sure why, until today. Having the had the pain from pinched nerve in my left arm since Sunday morning  I was sent for an MRI.

Aside from the pain my goal was to get out of pain before my wedding which is soon. Got a call from my Doctor - on a Saturday morning. His office is closed on Saturday's ... wanted to discuss the report. I said is it that bad? He replied just come down. Ok.

I arrive and he asked is my soon to be husband was with me, uhm, he's in KC MO. It looks like I have cancer. Not sure yet, what kind. That is information I have to get this week. I am numb and stunned. My family distraught.

The irony... I am getting married soon. I found a man who is perfect for me and I adore him. I am most sorry for the pain I am causing my him and my family. Next I need to find out what type/kind of cancer I am dealing with before I know what I am fighting.