Cesare

Emotions Flatlined

Ever have flat feeling for emotions? Nothing you can put your finger on - but you feel flat, sad maybe?

That's how I feel at the moment. I feel like crawling into a hole and staying there for a while. Maybe it's just the introvert in me? I will go hug my dog shortly... she will give me some comfort.

Maybe its the start of the holidays? I hate celebrating Christmas. I like buying gifts but I hate the falseness of it. Good will toward men should be everyday not once a year.

 Anyway -- just need to get this out.

CancerVersary II

CancerVersary - Yes today is my CancerVersary May 17, 2014 was the first time I learned I had cancer.  

Much has happened in the last two years. I am still in maintenance chemo - my hair is longer - and I am still in remission!! (1 year and 5 months). Maintenance ends in a few months.

I feel very differently on this CancerVersary. I am not sad. I am grateful. Grateful I survived R-CHOP and have stayed in remission from Follicular lymphoma, high grade - mixed follicular and diffuse pattern B- Cell. 

On May 17, 2014 on my drive home from getting the news, I heard Alanis Morissette - Ironic, which became my theme song, if you will. Since at that time I was 35 days out from getting married and beginning a new life. It all worked out fine, something I can say now. :-)

I am grateful. I am alive. I am.